


Lets Meet Again In The Past

by KayD595



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Guardian Angels, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Maybe future poly-relationship(s), Minor Character Death, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Supernatural Elements, Temporary Character Death, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 05:58:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19762018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KayD595/pseuds/KayD595
Summary: Eiji did not know how or why this was happening, but he wasn't going to question it for too long..because this might be his only chance to make things right.





	Lets Meet Again In The Past

_In Loving Memory of:_

_Aslan Jade, Callenreese_

_A son, beloved friend, & Hero _

Eiji smiled as he laid a bouquet of roses in front of the headstone.

He stayed crouched for an extra moment. His fingers slowly tracing over the engraved lettering, as if to commit them to memory. The longer he did so, the lump in his throat grew bigger. Taking a deep breath, he pulled away before standing once again.

Eiji took notice of the many assortment of other recent gifts that consisted of small teddy bears, old bouquets, and cards. 

Once a year, everyone would get together and visit ash's grave. Max’s and Sing’s families would attend, and if they weren't already in new york. Eiji and Ibe-san would fly out, so together, everyone could pay their respects to their fallen friend. 

But do to recent events, eiji was guilty of coming more often then the rest.

It wasn't a secret. When sing kept him company at his apartment, he never questioned where eiji went off to. His keen eyes would take in the folded paper sticking out from his pocket and the occasional rose bouquet and smile. Only asking that eiji be mindful of the time, so that he wouldn't worry too much when it got dark and eiji hadn’t come home yet. 

The 24 year old would smile at Chinatown's current leader as he opened and made his way out the front door. Always with a promise to do as requested.

Eiji was happy that he had such understanding people surrounding him. They all coped differently with ash's death. But he was understandably having a much harder time.

* * *

He remembered when he first came back to New-York after graduating college. He had obtained a job at a photography agency that required him to come to the states on a seasonal basis.

He had thought he was finally ready to go back. His parents and Ibe-san were understandably worried. They witnessed first hand the state he was in when they initially heard of ash's passing. 

He didn't eat properly, and he rarely talked to anybody unless necessary. He had finished his time at university as if on autopilot. Like his body was only able to do what was required for it to survive.

Then a year later, max requested they all visit ash's grave. Wanting to make a tradition were they paid their respects together. Eiji had agreed, but again he just felt numb as they all congregated near the gravesite. 

Everyone happily took turns updating ash on what was going on in their lives, but eiji had stayed silent. Only forcing a smile when he was spoken to or they all joked about a recent event. 

Eiji numbly followed them into this annual routine for the next few years. Never saying much, only a prompt silent prayer to the headstone. Until the outing was over and he made his way back to the hotel to prepare for his flight back to Japan.

It wasn't until the gravesite meeting last year after he got his first apartment in New-York, that his facade had finally cracked. 

He remembered staring blankly down at the Headstone, as everyone else spoke amongst themselves. It was a muffled sound to eiji's ears as his gaze never left the engraved cursive lettering.

All of a sudden, it was as if everything from the past few years was finally processing in his mind.

He had went back to Japan, without Ash.

He finished university, without Ash.

He became a professional photographer, without Ash.

He had moved to NYC permanently...without Ash.

For the rest of his life, the one person; who he could honestly claim was his soulmate, was not going to be at his side.

Because he was gone

Aslan Jade, Callenreese was **gone**.

Eiji hadn't realized he was sobbing until he noticed the group had stopped their conversation. His hand came up to cover his mouth as he hiccuped a violent sob from his throat. His eyes closing as more tears fell down his face.

Ash was gone...

His soulmate was dead.

When he fell to his knees, he heard everyone screaming his name in alarm. Multiple Footsteps running frantically towards his crumbled figure.

Eiji recalled a presence coming down beside him. Guiding his body to rest against a strong Frame. Smelling the familiar scent of warm cologne, he snuggled deeper into Sing's chest.

Eiji felt bad that the day was cut short because of him. Sing volunteering to bring him back to his apartment, and even staying with him for the night. 

Immediately eiji had felt like a burden, knowing that sing should be home with his family. But the rush of text messages of support, especially from an understanding Akira, was reassuring for him. 

Sing had made them tea and they sat with each other in the dimly lit living room. It was that night that the topic of therapy was first brought up.

Eiji wasn't against therapy, but he thought it was only needed if someone's grief kept them from operating on a day to day basis.

Yes, he had become a little emotionally distant. But he had still finished school and started a stable career. Yet apparently, there was much more to healing then just moving through life with four solid walls surrounding his heart.

While attending NYU, sing informed him about a friend; a psychology major. Who had opened up her own clinic downtown after she graduated. 

Even though eiji's english was a lot better, he found comfort in knowing the woman was also fluent in Japanese. 

So a few months later, eiji began seeing his therapist Sara on a weekly basis. It was the first time he had ever really opened up. Not just about ash, but all the events that he went through when he first came to America all those years ago. 

Eiji had found out after a couple of sessions, that underneath his strong facade, he was actually quite angry.

He and ash had been through alot; only for the man to die. Leaving eiji to figure out himself emotionally all over again. 

But instead of opening up a bottle of emotions, eiji had decided to keep everything down. Refusing to acknowledge his feelings and going through life unattached. 

He had told Sara about the letter he wrote to ash, while he was recovering in the hospital from the gunshot wound. How, in a way, that was the only time he really got to confess his feelings to ash.

Him and Sara had come to an understanding at the end of that particular appointment...

* * *

_Sara smiled as she looked across to, eiji who was sitting in the upholster chair. Her smile sympathetic and gentle as she took in his puffy red eyes and the tissues balled up in his fist._

_"You know, Eiji.." she began, not fazed by her patient’s still downcasted gaze._

_"The first time you came to see me, you told me your goal was to learn how to let go of ash" she tilted her head as she regarded him thoughtfully._

_"Why do you want to let him go?"_

_Eiji's eyebrows furrowed as he sniffled and adjusted his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose. He watched his fingers play with the tissue in his grip as he replied, his voice slightly raspy from crying._

_"I-I can't move on unless I let him go..?" he shifted in his seat as he contemplated his words._

_"Its like..he has this emotional hold on my heart, that won't allow me to move on" he finally looked up and met her eyes, his own brown ones heavy with grief._

_“I have to let him go, if I want to live"_

_Sara’s face stayed neutral as she took in his answer. She hummed in understanding as she sat back in her seat._

_"So you don't want him apart of your life anymore?"_

_Eiji gaped at her as he let the question; though it sounded more like a statement, simmer in his mind_

_He wants to let Ash go...so that meant not wanting him apart of his life?_

_He sucked in his lips to moisten them before he responded. His brows still knitted together as his gaze lowered back to his lap._

_"Why should he be in my life if he is gone?"_

_He didn't mean for his voice to sound so... angry? As he said this. He felt a little surprised at how bitter the confession came out._

_After a moment, he looked back up to see Sara smiling softly at him. Her fingers laced together in front of her chest._

_"Yes, he_ **_is_ ** _gone, Eiji" she regarded him with a sad look._

_"When a loved one passes away. People tend to think they are no longer able to have a relationship with them. That at some point, we have to ‘move on’ or ‘let go’ to make peace with their death”_

" _I think that's what you are trying to do, Eiji. When you and your friends go to visit ash at his grave. You told me how everyone communicates with him. Telling him about anything new going on in their lives. But you just kind of stand there" her smile grew knowingly as she continued._

" _And I am sure you out of all of them must have so much you want to tell him" she respectfully ignored how the man’s cheeks flushed at the comment._

_"What I am trying to say, Eiji is yes. You should make peace with the fact that ash is no longer with you, but you don't have to let him go."_

_"He can still be apart of your life regardless if he's not physically here with you" she smiled softly sitting up straighter in her seat, locking her fingers together in her lap._

" _Is that not what you meant when you said your soul would always be with him...don't you think Ash believes the same thing?"_

_Eiji felt his eyes begin to blur again with tears as he took in everything she was saying. He cupped his mouth as his body racked with sobs. Hunching over his lap as he cried out his grief._

_Could he really keep ash in his life and still make peace with his death...?_

_A hand came into his view and rested on top of his fist. He finally noticed Sara had gotten up and crouched down in front of him. She gently pried his other hand from his face so that she held them in a comforting grip as she spoke._

" _I have a feeling that when you wrote that letter, you wrote it knowing you and him might not see each other for a while" she smiled sympathetically at eiji's weak nod._

_"But you knew, eiji that the bond you both had was and still is strong enough to withstand any form of distance you two may have between you”_

" _So what I am getting at, is that you don't have to let Ash go. You can communicate with him in your own way so that you can make peace with the fact that he's no longer physically with you" she stood back up, plucking out a few tissues from the nearby box. Offering them to eiji who took them, smiling in thanks._

" _So let's try something. For the rest of the year, each week you will write a letter to ash and read it to him during a visit to his grave..” she moved back over to her seat, but before sitting, picked up a notebook that had been laying on her desk. She sat down and opened it to a fresh new page. She picked up a pen and offered both materials to eiji._

" _So in a way, you can still have him in your life” eiji sighed but took the offered materials. Disposing the tissues into the nearby waste-basket, he hesitantly clicked the pen to bring out the ball point._

_Taking a glance at Sara’s encouraging smile, he took a deep breath and began to write._

* * *

Eiji's fingers smoothed over the folded paper in his coat pocket.

He remembered being hesitant of the idea at first. The night before the first week, he kept re-writing the letter. Feeling like if he didn’t get the words right, this whole plan would fail. 

The next evening, He ripped out the final draft and folded it into his pocket. Numbly making his way to the cemetery, his heart beat loud in his ears as he climbed the grassy hill to the familiar Headstone. 

Catching his breath, he pulled out and unfolded the letter from his pocket. Taking a sheepish glance at the headstone, he nervously began to read. 

Eiji was expecting a lot of emotions to surface.

Anger, embarrassment, apathy, fear, bitterness..

but none of them came.

He actually began to feel...good?

It was as if he could visualize ash's response to what he was saying. The other headstones would disappear and he was no longer in the cemetery. It was just him and ash standing together in an open field. He could imagine the blonde's expression as he told him about anything new going on. Or the type of reply he would get as he recalled something funny him and sing got into on their down time. That familiar smile and those beautiful green eyes shining happily against rays of sunlight in Eiji’s imagination. 

When he neared the end of the letter, he saw those emerald eyes staring at him warmly as eiji promised to meet again soon to have another talk. 

_“I’ll be waiting for you next time, Eiji”_

When he would finally look back up from the letter, Eiji found himself back in the cemetery. Staring at the headstone as a soft breeze blew through the air. 

* * *

In present time, four months later, it was now fall. The cool breeze that always came after eiji finished reading blew up the colorful dry leaves that littered the grass. The plastic surrounding his bouquet crinkled noisily until the wind settled. 

He didn't always bring flowers, but days like this one, he just felt compelled to bring them. 

Almost like a spouse bringing flowers to their partner, just to brighten up their day.

He swallowed as he thought of what life with ash would have been like. Absentmindedly, brushing his finger against the recent letter in his coat pocket. 

Sara said it was okay if he wondered about that sometimes, because he was human after all. Just as long as he did not dwell on it too much and focused on more plausible goals. 

But sometimes, he couldn't help but wonder...

He was so lost in thought, he didn't hear the sound of footsteps crunching through the leaves. The sound getting louder until a figure stopped to stand right beside him, their voice pulling eiji from his mind.

"Those roses are beautiful"

**Author's Note:**

> At first I was going to make this a one-shot, but for once I actually had a whole story planned out in my head.
> 
> Thank you for reading, next chapter coming soon!


End file.
